sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
