I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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