Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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