Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
