We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
