hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
