An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
