My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
