wanna go halves on a baby?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
