Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
