another moral hangover. fuck.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
