just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
