Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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