the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
