what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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