he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
