we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize