I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
