drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want nice things and good sex
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
