My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
