Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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