were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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