So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Of course I have a pirate flag
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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