Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
