Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
