NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
