Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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