dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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