He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
