I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
