she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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