My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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