What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
