Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
