My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
