I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
