her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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