Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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