Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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