Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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