her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
