But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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