If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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