My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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