No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
