When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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