dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
