I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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