Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
