I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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