In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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