When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
